When Our Emotions Give Way to Sadness


By Pastor Dan Kennedy

©  August 15, 2010

www.pastorkennedy.com

pastorkennedy@gmail.com


Groaning

Emotions have a dynamic that affect the very core of our being.  When we are young we often have a lot of energy…that can benefit our emotions in a huge way!  We can be so busy with making a living, raising a family and pure survival, that we don’t have time to contemplate the profound affect of negative things about our life, as much as we may do when we are older.   As we grow older, our bones ache more often, our energy may subside and our circumstances cannot be as easily cared for because our ability to earn a better income and flow effectively with the “movers and shakers” in the society around us diminish.  We can no longer count on our own strength to succeed if we need a huge burst of strength to overcome obstacles in our path.  Our friends begin dying – maybe early on, because of a freak accident or of an anomaly of some aggressive sickness, but the older we are, those we have known for a long time pass away because they are just getting older and more susceptible to a variety of mortal issues!

 

Moses and Solomon descriptively spoke of the decline of life in their writings.


Moses, the man of God, who led Israel out of Egypt and through the wilderness, expressed, in his older years, the reality of the brevity of life and the pressure and pain we can realistically experience when we live it.


Psalm 90

9  For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh.

      10  The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away.

      11  Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you?

      12  So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.


Moses was not alone in his observations about the tedious trials of life; Solomon, the wisest king that has ever lived, gave us this studied observation after living an unrestricted and financially extravagant lifestyle.  Life can be painful no matter who you are or how much you have!


Ecclesiastes 12

Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, “I have no pleasure in them”…


7 and the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it. 8 Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher; all is vanity…


13 The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.


So the reality is, that those who trust in God are prone to sadness just as much as anyone in the world, because we are human beings facing the very real cycle of life and death…with the exception of our hope!


1.  The Curse that Causes us to Groan.

The Groaning of Sadness is All Around Us!  The Pain of Sorrow is Inherent in the World because of the Curse of the Depravity of Sin.


Let’s look at Romans 8:18-28


The theme of this passage in Romans is “Suffering” – in context with the believer in Christ.  Suffering does not assume that the individual is having a “happy” time.  Emotions are flailing around as the truth of this passage is being revealed.  At the same time, the sadness of these verses is dissolved by the dynamic glory, which is to be revealed.


Suffering for the Believer

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.


Suffering for All of Creation including the Believer

19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.


Godly Patience is an Antidote for Creation’s Suffering

24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.


Reliance on God’s Spirit to Help us in the Weakness of our Suffering, is a Key to Dealing with Suffering in the Life of the Believer – The Intercession of the Holy Spirit for Us!

26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.


The Realization that No Matter What Happens in the Life of the Transformed Believer in Christ, God allows even the Worst things to work out for Good!

28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.


The pressures of life often cause us to give way to sadness when intense hazards of life are pressing down on us.  Life can be painful.  You are not alone, if in the bitterness of your pain, you wish you had never been born! 


2.  Trials that Cause us to Groan.

Seeing how Testing and Trial caused Sadness in the Lives of the Godly who have gone before


Some who dearly loved God faced the distress of this overwhelming and intense emotion of sadness:


Job


He lost all his vast, respectable wealth; he lost all the children who were the joy of his life; he lost his health; he lost the moral support of his wife; he lost the respect of his community and his most trusted friends.  With all of these intense distressful emotions…can you imagine how terribly sad and depressed he must have been?  He truly wished he had never been born!


Job 3

After this Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. 2 And Job said:

3  “Let the day perish on which I was born, and the night that said, ‘A man is conceived.’

4  Let that day be darkness! May God above not seek it, nor light shine upon it.

5  Let gloom and deep darkness claim it. Let clouds dwell upon it; let the blackness of the day terrify it.

6  That night—let thick darkness seize it! Let it not rejoice among the days of the year; let it not come into the number of the months.

7  Behold, let that night be barren; let no joyful cry enter it.

8  Let those curse it who curse the day, who are ready to rouse up Leviathan.

9  Let the stars of its dawn be dark; let it hope for light, but have none, nor see the eyelids of the morning,

10  because it did not shut the doors of my mother’s womb, nor hide trouble from my eyes.

11  “Why did I not die at birth, come out from the womb and expire?

12  Why did the knees receive me? Or why the breasts, that I should nurse?

13  For then I would have lain down and been quiet; I would have slept; then I would have been at rest,

14  with kings and counselors of the earth who rebuilt ruins for themselves,

15  or with princes who had gold, who filled their houses with silver.

16  Or why was I not as a hidden stillborn child, as infants who never see the light?


Jeremiah


The Old Testament Prophet lived just before the catastrophic judgment and destruction of Jerusalem.  He expressed the same bitterness as Job in the pain he suffered by proclaiming God’s coming judgment on Jerusalem, for which the leadership and people persecuted him in their hatred for his faithful message.  He then witnessed the prophecy fulfilled in the destruction of Jerusalem, including the scavenging and ruination of the Temple of God.


Jeremiah 20:14-18

14  Cursed be the day on which I was born!

The day when my mother bore me, let it not be blessed!

15  Cursed be the man who brought the news to my father,

“A son is born to you,” making him very glad.

16  Let that man be like the cities that the Lord overthrew without pity; let him hear a cry in the morning and an alarm at noon,

17  because he did not kill me in the womb; so my mother would have been my grave, and her womb forever great.

18  Why did I come out from the womb to see toil and sorrow, and spend my days in shame?


Jonah


Turmoil is revealed in this reluctant prophet’s life!  He ran away from God’s strong call.  He was disciplined by God and miraculously delivered directly to God’s destination for him in the belly of the great fish.  He then fulfilled God’s call through greatly empowered preaching in the large city of Nineveh and the subsequent miraculous repentance and turning to God in Nineveh.  Strangely enough, Jonah was not pleased!  It seems Jonah did not personally believe that the wicked city of Nineveh should have any chance for repentance!  He climbed up to a place where he could observe God’s fierce judgment, but instead of judgment, he saw God’s mercy.  Then he suffered his own great disappointment and sadness.  God didn’t destroy this wicked city, but because of their repentance (from his God-ordained preaching) God had spared them.  In his self-appointed disappointment he wanted to die!


Jonah 4

3 Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.”


Elijah


Drought had plagued Israel for over three years and King Ahab placed the Prophet Elijah as the central player in its cause.  Ahab had diligently searched for Elijah during that time with no success.  Suddenly Elijah presented himself to Ahab and asked that all the prophets of Baal meet him on Mt. Carmel to see who really was the true God.


All morning and afternoon on Mt. Carmel, the prophets of Baal cried out to be heard by their false god – they cut themselves and pleading that their sacrifice be lit on fire.  No response.  “Is Baal sleeping?  Is he relieving himself?  Is he out of town so that he cannot hear you?” Elijah asked. 


At the time of the evening sacrifice, Elijah repaired the altar and poured pitchers of water on it to prevent anyone from saying Elijah had underhandedly started the fire.  After one simple, believing prayer, Elijah experienced the amazing power of God by fire coming down from heaven, consuming Jehovah’s burnt offering, the wood, stones, dust and lapped up the water that filled the trench.  There was no question who was God for all the observing people of Israel.  Subsequently, Elijah ordered the destruction of the 450 prophets of Baal and the 400 prophets of Asherah who were subverting and demonically destroying the worship of God in Jerusalem.  But…a few days later he was running for his life from the wicked queen Jezebel after she had put a death threat on his life!  It is amazing how spiritually powerful we can feel one moment and the next be so distraught!  Emotions are amazing!


1 Kings 19

4 But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.”


Jesus Christ


Jesus was a Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief.


Isaiah 53

2 For he grew up before him like a young plant,

and like a root out of dry ground;

he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,

and no beauty that we should desire him.

3He was despised and rejected by men;

a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;

and as one from whom men hide their faces

he was despised, and we esteemed him not.


Paul


The Apostle Paul revealed the difficulties and the emotional distress that he faced in the difficult ministry to which God had called him, seen in the passages below:


2 Corinthians 1

8 For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. 10 He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.


2 Corinthians 4

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death is at work in us, but life in you.


2 Corinthians 7:4

…In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy.

5 For even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn—fighting without and fear within. 6 But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus….



3.  Experiencing Great Sorrow without becoming Embittered


The Biblical life examples listed above, gives us the honest reality that others have experienced great loss during which time they expressed the bitterness of their hurt to God.  But, please note that in expressing the bitterness, they did not become bitter toward God!  Job’s wife became bitter:  “Curse God and die!” She advised her husband.  “No,” Job responded, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the Name of the Lord.” Job expressed the bitterness of the hurt to God without becoming bitter in spirit against God.


We have a choice in our grief:

o  Either to Trust God to work out huge hurt, or

o  Blame Him for the hurt.


The reality of the Scripture is that we are not merely “happy” all the time – but we, as believers have peace during these times of great trouble… “Peace that passes understanding!”  This God-given peace is the huge difference between a Christian embracing God and an unbeliever who chooses to hate God, or a believer who does not embrace God but becomes bitter toward God, during times of great hurt and anxiety.  This difference, in fact, may reveal the saving faith of the true believer in Jesus Christ.


The issue is not whether or not we have sadness…it is whether or not our enemy satan, combined with our fleshly emotion, convinces us to become bitter in the great hurtfulness of our circumstances.  It is OK for us to grieve great loss.  It is not OK for any of us, as believers, to allow our enemy to destroy our spirit through that loss. 


4.  Looking to God in our Groaning

Looking, by Faith, to the all-sufficiency of God even while experiencing the Depth of Great Groaning and Sadness


We do not need to give way to bitterness against God or bitterness against others.


  1. Bullet  We do not give way to unbelief and faithlessness.


Hebrews 3

12 Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. 13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 14 For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.


This is what counters an unbelieving heart according to Hebrews 3: 

o  The daily fellowship and encouragement of believers…and

o  Not allowing our heart to be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.


  1. Bullet  We do not give way to vengeance


The Scripture lets us know that God understands the deep, deep hurt of the heart.  God is also the only true vindicator of our life – but He will vindicate.  He will bring true vengeance where vengeance is needed.  There will not be a stone left unturned.  He will care for us.  We can trust God for that! 


Romans 12

19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.


Hebrews 10

30 For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” 31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.


Turning from Bitterness toward God


The great hazard of horrible experiences is that we, out of self-pity, can allow sadness to turn into a depressive emotional spirit, which is then fueled by a lying spirit from our enemy, turning into an accusatory heart against God, embracing the sin of faithless bitterness.


o  We must be perceptive of the lies of our strong and persuasive enemy, for what they really are.

o  We should seek to understand the Ambivalence of our Emotions and how those feelings affect us every day.

o  We must realize that trials force us to look at God.

o  We should deal with our sins, through repentance, confession and acceptance of forgiveness.

o  We should review what God has done for us in the past.  We should meditate in God’s Word and live by faith in the Living Christ.  We should seek the transformation of our mind to live in faith and not in fear, through God’s Word. 

o  We should ask the Holy Spirit to groan on our behalf before God.

o  We should seek to see God for Who He Is – walking a Journey of Faith in the Faithful One!

o  We should learn to live our life in thanksgiving and peace.  Pushing off the burdens of a depressive spirit and seeking the joy of the Lord with our peace.

o  We should look for the Blessed Hope and Appearing of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.


We hold on to Who God is – even in the middle of our suffering and groaning:


o  I believe that He Knows all things.

o  I believe that He Cares for me.

o  I believe that He will be my Cleansing.

o  I believe that He is Over All.

o  I believe that He is All-Powerful.

o  I believe that He is the One who brings vindication and healing from sorrows.

o  I have committed my life to Him.

o  I am choosing not to waver in my hope in His Presence, Power, and Ability to guide and direct my life.

o  I believe that He will faithfully do what He has promised.

o  I am choosing that I will not trust in myself.

o  I will not trust in my ambivalent emotions.

o  I am choosing to resist the enemy of my soul by the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ.

o  I believe in the All-Sufficiency of the Lord Jesus Christ!

o  I cast all my care upon Him!

o  I can trust in Him! 


Conclusion


We who believe in Jesus Christ have a hope, a faith and a refuge.  Jesus Christ is the core of our being.  He, more and more, becomes the stabilizing security in our life.  He Is our hope and future!


In everything His Presence is with me.  His Holy Spirit gives me a peace that passes understanding, which keeps my heart and mind.  I can trust in Him to carry me through even during most difficult of circumstances. 


Philippians 4

6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.




For I consider that the sufferings of this present time

are not worth comparing

with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 

Romans 8:18