Qualities of Marriage

 
Qualities of a God Honoring Marriage By Pastor Dan Kennedy © August 12, 2012 www.pastorkennedy.com Some people think that to be married is heaven…well they might not be too far off in their thinking! Would you believe that God’s primary goal in heaven for us is not just to show us the wonderful place He has prepared for us…the golden streets, the beautiful crystal river of life flowing from His Throne, the amazing angelic beings surrounding His Throne crying out, “Holy, Holy, Holy”, or the amazing foursquare city coming down out of heaven that is some 1,800 miles square with pearly gates and jewel encrusted walls? God’s primary goal is not that we should have a complete understanding of His amazing plans for the universe, nor to know, even as we are known, nor that we should be rewarded for the honorable things done for His glory here on the earth. God did not mean heaven to simply be a place where we could fellowship with all the wonderful Godly friends, family and admired heroes of old who have preceded us to the amazing heavenly dwelling of the Most High God. We have been studying the Gospel of John. Jesus’ prayer in John 17 has some profound insight into God’s primary goal for those who love Him in eternity. It is centered on the profound dynamic of our unity and oneness of being with Him. John 17:11; 20-24 11  …Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one. 20 “I do not ask for these only (the earthly disciples around Jesus during His earthly ministry), but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, 23 I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. 24 Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. God means heaven, and our eternal dwelling with Him to be the place and the time where we are fully complete in Oneness with God Himself. Totally accepted. Totally loved. Fully understood. Fully righteous and completely sinless. Totally embraced as part of the heavenly family, forever. That complete Unity in Fellowship with Himself is God’s primary goal in His relationship with His Spotless Heavenly Bride. So, if God were going to give us one earthly visual picture of the highest fellowship and relationship that humankind can have with Him, what example in Creation do you think He would choose? That’s right, it is marriage. Marriage is the one dynamic on earth where two totally different, physically and emotionally unique individuals – a man and a woman, can amazingly represent a complete oneness as can be experienced here on earth: in heart, in motivation, in fellowship, in physical union, in united goals, in friendship and in the couple’s very identity. Married couples are no longer two, they are amazingly one. Ephesians 5:28–33 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. “I take this man, I take this woman, to be my lawfully wedded husband or wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness or in health; to love, honor and cherish, until death do us part. I hereby give you my love!” No other human comparison or earthly picture can come close to exampling Unity as that of a God honoring marriage. What are seven ingredients of a God honoring marriage? 1. There is Mutual Love in a God honoring marriage. 1 Corinthians 13 13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal…. 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. a. Love is an essential ingredient for both the husband and the wife, but a continuing demonstration of self-sacrificing, Godly Love is an essential element that a husband should, without hypocrisy, give to his wife. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. This is the Scriptural injunction, to husbands everywhere in every age and every culture. 2. There is Mutual Respect in a God honoring marriage. a. Deference for each other. b. Building up each other, not tearing down. c. Respect for each other. d. There is an emphasis in Scripture for the wife to respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (see also 1 Peter 3:2,6) 3. There is Mutual Faithfulness in a God honoring marriage. a. Unfaithfulness in heart and action will destroy a marriage. b. Jealousy destructively perforates the bonds of the marriage vows. c. God will judge unfaithfulness. Hebrews 13:4 4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. 4. There is Mutual Responsibility in a God honoring marriage. a. Complacency in marriage reveals corrosion or potential corruption in a marriage. b. We all have times when one partner or the other is weak or low… God has divinely appointed marriage so that two are better than one. Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 5. There is Mutual Accountability in a God honoring marriage. a. God holds the father and mother accountable to fulfill their respective roles and actions in marriage. b. God holds the father ultimately accountable for his home. Eve was deceived when she listened to Satan, saw the beauty of the fruit, ate and gave to her husband, but Adam was not deceived and partook of the fruit and became accountable for the fall of the human race. (1 Tim. 2:13,14; Rom. 5:12-21) 6. There is Mutual Forgiveness in a God honoring marriage. a. Love and Forgiveness are key elements in any marriage. i. Forgiveness is a hallmark of God’s relationship with mankind. His shines the sun and rain on the just and unjust (Matt. 5:45; 18:21; 35) ii. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. b. Repentance from wrong is essential, if one wishes to enjoy the fruit of true forgiveness – before God and man. Remember, “be sure your sin will find you out.” One either repents from their wrong, or they will suffer the consequences of their wrong. Some sins are found out early and are dealt with in this life, either by repentance or punishment, other sins are not seemingly dealt with in this life, but are fully dealt with in eternity. 1 Timothy 5:24–25 24 The sins of some people are conspicuous, going before them to judgment, but the sins of others appear later. 25 So also good works are conspicuous, and even those that are not cannot remain hidden. c. Heartfelt Apologies should be given, to the extent of those wronged. d. Forgiveness is essential. Matthew 6:14–15 14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Luke 6:37 37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; Ephesians 4:32 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Colossians 3:13 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. If one cannot forgive, it will be very difficult for their marriage to survive in the anxiety, drudgery or intensity that automatically comes with married life. They would not be able to enjoy the unparalleled blessings of marriage without a spirit of love and forgiveness. 7. There is Appropriate Leadership in a God honoring marriage. a. God has commissioned the husband with the mantle of spiritual leadership and direction for his family. Ephesians 5:23 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 1 Corinthians 11:3 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. b. God has endowed both the husband and wife with gifts of leadership to fulfill the responsibilities that they have been given together in the home. Conclusion What are seven ingredients of a God honoring marriage? 1. There is Mutual Love in a God honoring marriage. 2. There is Mutual Respect in a God honoring marriage. 3. There is Mutual Faithfulness in a God honoring marriage. 4. There is Mutual Responsibility in a God honoring marriage. 5. There is Mutual Accountability in a God honoring marriage. 6. There is Mutual Forgiveness in a God honoring marriage. 7. There is Appropriate Leadership in a God honoring marriage. Marriage is the one dynamic on earth where two totally different, physically and emotionally unique individuals – a man and a woman, can amazingly represent a complete oneness as can be experienced here on earth: in heart, in motivation, in fellowship, in physical union, in united goals, in friendship and in the couple’s very identity. Married couples are no longer two; they are amazingly one. If God were going to give us one earthly visual picture of the highest fellowship and relationship that humankind can have with Him, the example in all of Creation that He uses is Marriage. No other human comparison or earthly picture can come close to exampling Unity that God desires in our relationship with Him, as that of a God honoring marriage. http://www.pastorkennedy.comshapeimage_1_link_0